Here are actual bits of dialogue from Ben & Arthur:
Arthur: Fuck in another two years, Ben! This is ignorance and completely unfair! This country fucking sucks! It just fucking sucks! (Arthur leaves the room to try and cool down. It doesn’t work.) And you know what! If we ever get into a war and they draft my ass the first thing I’m gonna tell them is if I’m not good enough to get married in this country, then I sure as hell ain't dying for it.
Ben: Tammy - I'm gay! I've already told you that!
Tammy: Ben - I'll be gay too, and then that'll make it all right for us to get married again, huh?
Ben: You are not making any sense!
Tammy: Hey! I don't make sense? You don't make sense! I make sense, that's who makes sense!
Ben: Arthur! Our bike is gone!
Arthur: What? You locked it up, didn't you?
Ben: I asked you to lock it up for me last time, remember?
Arthur: Well - I thought I locked it up.
Ben: Damn it, Arthur! I need to know that I can count on you!
Arthur: We don’t need prayed for. You need prayed for.
Victor (to Stan on the phone): Yeah, yeah, it’s Victor. The potion didn‘t work! Do you believe it? Yeah. Okay. I’m gonna have to resort to the final plan!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Mildre(a)d
"There's a whole two inches left."
It would seem that a character in the film that Benandarthurists have taken to their hearts is Mildred (or "Mildread" as Sam spells it), played by Loretta Altman (any relation to Robert?). In the screenplay, Sam describes her thus: "Mildread is Arthur and Ben’s neighbor. She is mean and hates Ben and Arthur because they’re gay. Arthur feels the same but tries to be polite." Yet this is not quite how the scene is played as filmed. Mildred comes off as bored, impatient, and apparently gay herself, but not "mean."
Also, after Mildred tells Arthur about the break-in at the parking garage, Arthur, according to the script, "turns around smiling. He feels good slamming the door in Mildread’s face." Again, it is not played that way in the film.
If anyone wants to give some love to Ms. Altman, she can be reached at flute1861[at]hotmail.com. (She provided that address herself in Sam's guestbook.)
It would seem that a character in the film that Benandarthurists have taken to their hearts is Mildred (or "Mildread" as Sam spells it), played by Loretta Altman (any relation to Robert?). In the screenplay, Sam describes her thus: "Mildread is Arthur and Ben’s neighbor. She is mean and hates Ben and Arthur because they’re gay. Arthur feels the same but tries to be polite." Yet this is not quite how the scene is played as filmed. Mildred comes off as bored, impatient, and apparently gay herself, but not "mean."
Also, after Mildred tells Arthur about the break-in at the parking garage, Arthur, according to the script, "turns around smiling. He feels good slamming the door in Mildread’s face." Again, it is not played that way in the film.
If anyone wants to give some love to Ms. Altman, she can be reached at flute1861[at]hotmail.com. (She provided that address herself in Sam's guestbook.)
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Favorite YouTube comments, part 1
These are among my faves:
"This movie is evil. As soon as it ended my DVD player broke. The day after I saw it I lost my job that I had for 5 years. My girlfriend that I was planning to propose to cheated on me with my brother. My house burned down and now police suspect me of doing it for insurance money. I am now wanted in my state.
Everything was destroyed by the fire. All.. except Ben & Arthur DVD. I am now cursed. Pray for my soul."
-discoverist
"This pile of horse shit had more errors and mistakes in it than George W Bush's presidency; and I was just as relieved when it finally ended." - drc1981
"You know, when I started this film, I didn't think it was THAT bad. Amateurish, sure, but it seemed easygoing enough. I could laugh at it.
But in the second half, all pretense of fun went out the window, and the film became a spout of incest, violence, and bigotry, all fueled by Mraovich's personal hatred.
That's why this is the worst movie of all time. It's not just bad, its unpredictably bad. It's awful in a way that hurts the soul."
-craterspike
"Wow, this is getting as intense as The Godfather. Remember when Don Corleone brought out the dildo for Bonasera and said, 'If only you'd come to me in friendship. Now take some lube and shove this up your ass'" -Kimbahley
"Actually one thing strange about this movie, it seems to not attract the usual youtube comments.
Normally the comments section of youtube videos is just an incoherent mass of babbling idiots, but on all the segments for this, all the comments are the height of wit, and easily as funny as the film (with SMraovic09 the only exception)
I guess it's because this film sucks all the talent out of the air around it, some must be leaking out onto us. Good times." - Abazigal
"I have just shown this first part to my 11 year old cousin. He wants to know about film making... so I bought him a few books and DVDs on film making and then I showed him some of the worst in history. Well, all I can say is thank you Sam he actually cried, I thought he was joking at first, your film is bad and you should feel bad. All you are is an overgrown piece of shit that was left out in the sun that sprouted arms and legs and very little hair." - the0real0fozzy
"Absolutely none of these characters are likeable in the least bit! The production value of this movie is so utterly wretched, it looks like a mini-series made for youtube or something! GOD WHAT A HORRIBLE MOVIE AND I'M NOT EVEN A QUARTER OF THE WAY THROUGH!" - Nummysammich
"There are awesome and memorable movie quotes like, 'This is Sparta!' and 'I am Beowulf!'
Then there are quotes like
'Oh my Goooooooooooooood' from Troll 2
Garbage Day and....
YOU FUCK"
-sarumanstrength
"This movie is evil. As soon as it ended my DVD player broke. The day after I saw it I lost my job that I had for 5 years. My girlfriend that I was planning to propose to cheated on me with my brother. My house burned down and now police suspect me of doing it for insurance money. I am now wanted in my state.
Everything was destroyed by the fire. All.. except Ben & Arthur DVD. I am now cursed. Pray for my soul."
-discoverist
"This pile of horse shit had more errors and mistakes in it than George W Bush's presidency; and I was just as relieved when it finally ended." - drc1981
"You know, when I started this film, I didn't think it was THAT bad. Amateurish, sure, but it seemed easygoing enough. I could laugh at it.
But in the second half, all pretense of fun went out the window, and the film became a spout of incest, violence, and bigotry, all fueled by Mraovich's personal hatred.
That's why this is the worst movie of all time. It's not just bad, its unpredictably bad. It's awful in a way that hurts the soul."
-craterspike
"Wow, this is getting as intense as The Godfather. Remember when Don Corleone brought out the dildo for Bonasera and said, 'If only you'd come to me in friendship. Now take some lube and shove this up your ass'" -Kimbahley
"Actually one thing strange about this movie, it seems to not attract the usual youtube comments.
Normally the comments section of youtube videos is just an incoherent mass of babbling idiots, but on all the segments for this, all the comments are the height of wit, and easily as funny as the film (with SMraovic09 the only exception)
I guess it's because this film sucks all the talent out of the air around it, some must be leaking out onto us. Good times." - Abazigal
"I have just shown this first part to my 11 year old cousin. He wants to know about film making... so I bought him a few books and DVDs on film making and then I showed him some of the worst in history. Well, all I can say is thank you Sam he actually cried, I thought he was joking at first, your film is bad and you should feel bad. All you are is an overgrown piece of shit that was left out in the sun that sprouted arms and legs and very little hair." - the0real0fozzy
"Absolutely none of these characters are likeable in the least bit! The production value of this movie is so utterly wretched, it looks like a mini-series made for youtube or something! GOD WHAT A HORRIBLE MOVIE AND I'M NOT EVEN A QUARTER OF THE WAY THROUGH!" - Nummysammich
"There are awesome and memorable movie quotes like, 'This is Sparta!' and 'I am Beowulf!'
Then there are quotes like
'Oh my Goooooooooooooood' from Troll 2
Garbage Day and....
YOU FUCK"
-sarumanstrength
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Every church has an altar
And we are no exception. Only a devout Benandarthurist will understand the significance of the items placed thereon.
Yes, that is a folding card table.
Yes, that is a folding card table.
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